Let’s test on Dallas Mavericks followers.
Within the wake of the earth-shattering Luka Doncic commerce, issues may very well be…uh, going higher. Followers parading coffins and creatively constructed indicators round their beloved Dirk Nowitzki statue are being joined exterior by those that tried to go to the sport, however bought thrown out of the stadium for screaming “FIRE NICO” on the Jumbotron. It’s a humanitarian disaster, a totalitarian regime. By conserving the entire course of beneath wraps earlier than dropping the commerce in the course of the evening whereas the crew was on a prolonged highway journey, the group clearly understood a foul response was coming, however did they anticipate it to be Nowitzki himself exhibiting up at a Lakers recreation unhealthy?
Is it a revolt? No, Nico. It’s a revolution.
I really feel for Mavs followers, and I frankly don’t know if I might react any extra favorably if the Boston Celtics traded Jayson Tatum for Bam Adebayo and a first-round choose. However issues are getting dire out right here, and the Mavericks’ out-of-touch response to their followers’ fully legitimate freakout has me questioning if the NBA wants some honest-to-goodness authorized reforms to guard followers. It’s been out of contact, out of whack, and threatening to drive us all out of our minds.
Absurd press conferences introducing their new gamers with out the GM who acquired them current. Utterly tone-deaf quotes from proprietor Patrick Dumont saying “I’m a large Luka fan. My household are large Luka followers. I’ve a extremely deep appreciation for what he delivered to this crew”… a couple of man they simply traded with no warning, in the course of the evening, lower than a 12 months after he led them to the NBA Finals. In the event that they had been actively making an attempt to make this worse, I’m undecided what they might even do in another way. And whereas I’m not right here to repair it, absolutely we will make this slightly higher, even when at this level I’m hesitant to recommend the Mavs received’t proceed to search out methods to make their responses much more tactless.
Sadly, like all unmitigated public relations catastrophe, we don’t have a time machine to return and repair the issue. However clearly, if any crew is contemplating buying and selling their finest participant of their mid-20s for a worse participant of their 30s… don’t. However that ship has already left port, sailed into an iceberg and sunk to the underside of the ocean. So what’s to be accomplished?
The 1st step: make an apology.
Step one in correcting for any large mistake is apologizing, which the Mavericks most likely assume they’ll’t do lower than two weeks after making the commerce. However that’s solely as a result of they wish to appear to be severe individuals, however it could be attainable to apologize and stay severe. You’d simply have to fireplace all of the individuals who helped make the choice, so Nico Harrison, Miriam Adelson and Patrick Dumont. However that could be sophisticated, since two of these individuals personal the crew, so…
Fortunately, it’s additionally attainable to apologize with out remaining severe. And we already know they aren’t severe individuals, as a result of… *gestures to the commerce they simply made*. So simply apologize, hearth Nico so he takes the autumn for the billionaire house owners, and transfer on. That’s a very good begin.
Step two may very well be a bit extra materials. As soon as they’ve issued probably the most complicated apology in human historical past, the Mavericks possession ought to most likely begin the world’s most blatant bribery marketing campaign. Free merch at each recreation. Kyrie bobbleheads in every single place. Hell, Adelson and Dumont ought to most likely begin funding public works initiatives throughout Dallas. Something they’ll do to purchase off the fan base, even when it’s apparent.
Look, I’m not morally into bribery both, however I believe getting your fan base again on board is value a semi-obvious sustained PR stunt. However there’s additionally the likelihood that there’s nothing the Mavericks possession might do to repair this factor within the quick time period; I’m not even positive profitable a championship would repair it. It’s an affront to the previous, current and way forward for this crew — an affront to the elemental legal guidelines of NBA nature. What can they do in that case?
They might additionally go full-desperation mode, pull a web page from the Lakers’ e book and attempt to retroactively fail Davis’ bodily, thereby voiding the commerce and beginning probably probably the most complicated authorized course of the NBA has ever seen. It wouldn’t work, however it could present the followers they actually, actually perceive how mistaken the factor they did was, and possibly earn some goodwill again for making an attempt.
Or, maybe, the reply is to fake all of it didn’t occur. Go full authoritarian mode and rewrite the historical past books. There by no means was a Luka. There has at all times been a Davis. Any point out of the commerce is met with “what commerce?” or “we’re wanting into that, thanks for bringing it to our consideration.”
It sounds loopy, however get this: it’d solely be the second-craziest factor they’ve accomplished this season. In order a final resort, I don’t see why not.
